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Sex and the City Season 1, thoughts?

So, important shit outta the way first. I’m a heterosexual dude, in my mid-twenties, I like Australian full strength beer, smoking weed, and I hope my gf does anal and a threesome with me one day.

I watched Sex And The City season one on a friend's Foxtel while I house-sat recently. An undisclosed Cheek executive asked me to write what I have to say about it. After which, I desperately asked for a torrent of it so I could watch it at home after I finished house sitting.

SATC is to this day, a groundbreaking piece of television.

Ultimately though, what I think is the real thing that has cemented it into the 21st century’s dating zeitgeist, is that it still hits red button topics. Anal, threesomes, dildos, secret slam pieces. 20+ years on, and you could mention any of these and still be met with a collective kegel of everyone in earshot.

But this op-ed isn’t about the taboo sex topics. This is much more dangerous ground on which we tread.

Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda. Fuck asking about what school they went to. To this day, anything that you'd want to know about a woman you can learn from asking her which SATC character she identifies with, and what her character tier list is.

My personal favourites? Charlotte, Miranda Samantha, then Carrie. NOT negotiable, please let me say why.

Charlotte: Basically just intellectually and physically my type of woman. I can’t justify beyond that, my lizard brain just starts calling the shots.

Miranda: God damn. Conscientious career woman. Reasonably self assured, she carries a façade of arrogance, but is a marshmallow beneath. And I'd like to make myself a s’more.

Samantha: It hurts to watch her. I think she is who she is because every time she has tried to be her unique self, she has been hurt. Her persona feels like a cliché she has adopted to protect herself. She has a certain resignation that strikes a particular chord of melancholy in me. When I see Samantha, I cannot help but think of Nero playing the fiddle whilst Rome burns. Everything she does feels like she’s simulated what ‘Samantha’ would do, and acts out that exact action.

Unfortunately for me, my Y chromosome reminds me she could suck the SOUL outta my dick. So she beats Carrie.

Carrie: Sociopath. Her column seems to me like a chicken and the egg paradox in that I cannot decide what came first. SATC, or just viewing everyone in her life [including herself] like a Sims character. I cannot imagine being friends with this woman. You could be the Dalai Lama, and in one 10 second monologue, she’d summarise 80yrs of selflessness into compensating for being a fuckin virgin. She’s more smug than ScumMo, and all she has to show for it are her bizarre friendships that she observes instead of living, a void where her heart should be, a nicotine addiction, and some Manolo Blahnik pumps.

I don’t know if this needs a conclusion. But I’ll end with everything that SATC taught me; women hot, men bad, cosmopolitans good, sex important. Fin.