• Kristin Perissinotto

Scott Morrison is a ********

This article is hard to write. It's hard to write because I've previously been threatened with legal action for defamation for a poorly thought-out title of a podcast. And I'm considerably angrier this time around. There isn't one word in my vocabulary that describes my opinion of the Prime Minister. There is a string of words I could use, but again... I don't really want to get sued, and I really don't want to have to publicly apologise to him.

The way Scott Morrison addressed the nation yesterday was so fucking smug, I could feel my blood pressure physically rising as I watched clips. He is absolutely clueless as to how he's perceived, likely due to being surrounded by yes men and people resembling those nodding dashboard dogs. I cannot even fathom how big his ego must be to think he can roll out to a press conference each week (between regular disappearances).

There are dozens of headlines from yesterday and this morning reading 'Prime Minister says sorry for botched vaccine rollout,' but let me be very, very clear: he didn't fucking say sorry at all. He spent the first part of the day dodging responsibility on a Melbourne radio station, then finally said “I’m certainly sorry we haven’t been able to achieve the marks that we hoped for at the beginning of this year. Of course I am.” You read that in his voice didn't you.

Photo from ABC News

The tone and the wording of this sentiment was so meticulously planned you can practically see the whiteboard his senior staff mapped it out on. "Of course I am," he said, as if to imply he's readily apologised many times before. As if he has no problem uttering the sentence. As if he just apologised three minutes ago and we were his children distracted by a TikTok and simply didn't hear.

“I’m certainly sorry we haven’t been able to achieve the marks that we hoped for." This is not an apology. It's not I'm sorry I have let down Australians, I'm sorry I have encouraged vaccine hesitancy, I'm sorry I didn't do anything about this months ago, I'm sorry we are the lowest performing country in vaccine rollout, I'm sorry I didn't buy enough Pfizer vaccines and didn't even bother to MAKE A FUCKING PHONE CALL TO SECURE MORE.

No. It's not any of those things. It's the same sentiment you offer when you hear that a colleague's aunt passed away or their kitchen got flooded. It's an I'm sorry that happened to you. He's not fucking sorry, and he's only uttered the word because every journalist on the Indo-Australia tectonic plate made it their personal mission to squeeze it out of him.

He also managed to utter the words 'I take responsibility,' which I'm sure caused him physical pain. “I take responsibility for the vaccination program [and] I also take responsibility for the challenges we’ve had.” But it's what he said after that that I'm particularly interested in. "Obviously some things that were in our control and some things that are not." And there it fucking is people. His out. His scapegoat. Something he can come back to next time when a journo says "but you took responsibility." He's set up an escape path.

I'm so fucking done rising above this bullshit. He's a disgrace (which might be the word blanked out with asterisks in the headline of this article - or maybe it's not). A 'sorry' dripping with political spin after metaphorically being held hostage by the Australian media isn't fucking good enough. And if he thinks it is, he certainly thinks very poorly of the Australian public. But probably not as poorly as I think of him.