• Cheek

ScoMo and friends: A Tragedy

Updated: Jun 29, 2021

Another new week, and another list of things Scott Morrison has done to dig himself further into a hole. It would be funny if it weren't so shocking. And if it weren't the head of the country in question.

Here's a synopsis of the news that has broken today, our handpicked highlights from each story, and where to read more about it.

PM reshuffles Cabinet

The Cabinet now has a 'record number of women,' equalling a grand total of seven (out of 23). Wow. The former Attorney General Christian Porter has lost his title to Michaelia Cash, and Peter Dutton has taken over Linda Reynolds' portfolio of Minister for Defence. Porter and Reynolds remain in the cabinet.

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New Prime Minister for Women announced

ScoMo has said that the Minister for Women, Marise Payne (the one who refused to have anything to do with the March4Justice), would "effectively be the Prime Minister for Women," though quickly revised this title when a journalist asked why the Prime Minister was not fit to be the Prime Minister for everyone, including women. We were wondering the same thing.

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Andrew Laming allegedly a ****

MP Andrew Laming, who was a gynecologist in his previous career, will likely be reported to police after allegedly taking an 'upskirt picture' of a woman at her workplace. Laming was called to publicly apologise, which he did. Afterwards, a screenshot was leaked of a message Laming had allegedly sent, saying he 'didn't know what he was apologising for'.

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Audio leaked of PM's address to staff

The SMH published 16 minutes of audio from a meeting in Parliament House, where the PM was addressing staff about the Coalition's 'failings on sexism' (perhaps Jenny's idea?). In it, ScoMo said some staff had “put up with some absolute rubbish,” and that “this has been a traumatic month, that is true, but for many here it has been a traumatic lifetime”. In a surprising turn of events, the Deputy Prime Minister and leader of the National Party, Michael McCormack actually came out stronger than the PM, saying “Whether you have been here for five minutes or whether you have been here for 15 or 25 years, you are valued. If you have been let down by the system, by your member, by your senator, by me, I say I am sorry,” he said. “If you haven’t felt supported, at any time, over any matter, I’m sorry.”

Read more and listen to the audio

PM drinks a beer at the footy

In what we assume was an attempt at drumming up some good PR, the PM was filmed drinking a beer with some footy players and shaking all of their hands (what happened to the elbow bump!?). Don't read the comments unless you want to be in an even worse mood than before.

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ScoMo walks out of a press conference

Journalist Mark Riley asks the PM why he hasn't taken a stronger stance when dealing with Andrew Laming. ScoMo gives some media-approved responses before hightailing it out of there at quite a speed. I think I saw the Australian flag flapping in the breeze he created in his hurry to get away.

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And last but not least, some good news...

Ever Given boat freed from Suez Canal

The bizarre story of the massive cargo ship blocking the (very narrow) Suez Canal has been freed, and we are all rejoicing.

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