Every track on Taylor Swift's 'Evermore', RANKED

I need at least another week of listening for this album to have a red hot go at competing with Folklore, but Swift's 2020 has undoubtedly been her best yet as a creator and has firmly planted her presence in the industry for years to come. Although Evermore hasn't won me over like it has for other fans (yet), I'm just proud of her renewed comfortability within her field, finally refusing to give into the pressure to produce music based on the misogynistic narrative that tells female entertainers to re-invent themselves, to remain shiny and to create tracks based on public narratives. I'm so proud of our gal regardless of my actual personal affection for this individual creation. Here is my official ranking of the 15 core tracks that make up Taylor's NINTH studio album.

15. Coney Island (featuring The National)

Nope. Thumbs down. I don't wanna scorch my girl Tay with this review so I'm leaving it there. I love you but that ain't it for me chief (but I want you to know I still love you).

14. Happiness

A brutal breakup song, Happiness utilises synthesisers which tbh does not do it for me but lyrically - it's still magic. The rattle and contrasting beats of this song provide a sense of panic and immediacy, as a listener it leaves me on edge and would require a particular mood for consumption. My favourite of T-Swiz's breakup tracks tend to be retrospective, honing in on the sadness when reminded of past moments and nostalgic symbols. Happiness is strong, undoubtedly, but begs for a niche listening space.

Photographer: Beth Garrabrant

13. 'Tis The Damn Season

Again, nah? I think it will grow on me? Will it be my favourite in a month? I don't know? It's just a bit flat and falls short for me. The verses beg for a punchy chorus and it just DOEs not GET there for me. Close though.

12. Closure

This song makes me stressed. It is not for me.

11. Marjorie

Track 13 is named after Taylor's grandma, Marjorie Finlay. It's not doing anything groundbreaking and it wouldn't be a go-to track for me but hey, it's still got guts.

Photographer: Beth Garrabrant

10. Gold Rush

Gold Rush's opening reminds me of Mirrorball. Unfortunately, Mirrorball was my least favourite track of Folklore. This song gives fairytale vibes but the tone just irks me a bit. It's a personal annoyance thing and I know it makes me a totally shit critic but it's just the facts, sorry. I like the bridge lots and lots. A saviour, whimsical.

9. Ivy

Upbeat, superb, classic Taylor imagery. It is folky and romantic and a lil tragic and just the classic Swift recipe for a hit. Ivy has great pace and incredible backing vocals. It feels full.

8. Willow

Fun!!!! A perfect partner to the Folklore lead-single, Cardigan (it kind of feels like the same emotion as Cardigan if she had guzzled three gin and tonics first). Perfect production, great orchestration and beautiful craftsmanship. This track goes to the very crux of the genre Swift is creating in this world. It combines beautiful storytelling, magical beats and definitely a linen dress situation. I hate going outside and Willow makes me wanna walk through a forest barefoot. That's my man.

7. Evermore (featuring Bon Iver)

It doesn't even COME CLOSE to Exile really, and quite honestly Bon Iver's parts truly ruin this track for me but from Taylor: 10/10.

6. Long Story Short

This baby had to grow on me, but it's lovely layers did their magic. Swift's pace and storytelling on this bad boy make it the winner, bringing together all the best elements of her songs moving parts and sophisticated creation skills. As a listener you have the option to be attentive to the intricate story or tilt your head back and just fucking enjoy it.

Photographer: Beth Garrabrant

5. Champagne Problems

'She would’ve made such a lovely bride – what a shame she’s fucked in the head'. In Champagne Problems, Taylor is resurrecting a fan favourite, the Blank Space character, what a beautiful, MAD woman who I adore. She exists in my mind alongside a single opinion: good for her. This track is FANTASTIC. Powerful and understated.

4. Tolerate It

The beat SWEPT ME UP. I felt like a wave WASHED ME AWAY the first time I heard this track. This is hot boiling sizzling shower material. It's slow dance magic. It's night drives through a city. This song has impeccable movement and I ADORE it.

3. Dorothea

Fucking *CHEF's KISS*. This song is for long, patterned skirts and oversized glasses of wine. This character is such an interesting exploration, a flipped narrative of celebrity, in which an old friend holds a deep understanding that her now-famous pal may want to come home just sometime, perhaps. It's lovely, I appreciate VERY much and it is melodically swish. It oozes small town vibes but with a surprisingly loving tone.

2. No Body, No Crime (featuring HAIM)

No Body, No Crime is my outright favourite, but it cannot be the objective best on an album of this tone. This track brings together 'Picture to Burn' and Should've Said No' vibes with Swift's present maturity and experience. This is the upbeat sequel to the scorpion, feminist perfection Taylor designed in 'Mad Woman'.

1. Cowboy Like Me

This song feels sun-kissed, like a track born from a Sunday morning in fresh bed sheets. Bold and ambitious, Cowboy Like Me is textured and instrumentally magnificent. It feels simultaneously like a new style for Swift, and like coming home to her country roots. Fucking splendid. The richness of this song should not be underestimated, with each listen it burrows deeper into my heart. Go Tay, prime.

Please do not hurt me for this.

My review of Evermore will be published next week.