• Cheek

7 things to distract you from the US election

It’s a weird time. We are hanging in limbo, waiting for the final count of the US presidential election and anticipating mass riots, the destruction of democracy, and the potential for many US citizen’s rights to be under threat. Meanwhile we are still expected to go to work, do the washing, eat like a normal human, bathe. It’s too much frankly. So we hope this list helps you just a little bit and distracts you for at least a couple of moments.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

1. Did somebody say Menulog?

Sorry. But Menulog has had some great delivery deals, so if you are interested in entering a carb coma until (at least) Friday. #notspon but we always recommend food sales.

2. Go and read some of our articles

You know we had to add this in. Out of politeness, I have put it at number two. Check out our interview with jewellery genius Gemma Black or a tale from someone who wasn’t made redundant during COVID, but wishes they had been.

3. Throw it back

Do something you were absolutely obsessed with five or ten years ago. I’m talking re-reading Harry Potter (or watching the movies if you are a fake fan), Roald Dahl, or the Chronicles of Narnia. Make some Scoobie Laces (you’ll probably have to use rope, I don’t think you can buy the laces in 2020), or decorate some cupcakes.

4. Crank our Spotify playlist called get that lizard out of office

Great for aggressive running, bringing up the mood when you are 1 second away from tears, and laying on the ground staring up at the ceiling with one hand refreshing your election feed.

5. Get into some YouTube conspiracies

Or exposés. Or long-form commentary channels. We recommend D’Angelo Wallace, who very recently uploaded an hour-long video about Blaire White.

6. Find something else to be outraged by.

There’s nothing better to distract you from being outraged than some different outrage. May we suggest looking into Woolworths’ recent partnership with News Corp? The same media conglomerate that over 70 million Australians have signed a petition to investigate? What are they thinking? The juiciest stuff is on Twitter (standard).

7. Watch State of Origin recaps

I mean, if you’re really desperate...